{"id":483,"date":"2022-09-02T11:32:13","date_gmt":"2022-09-02T11:32:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/peersupport.training\/?post_type=article&p=483"},"modified":"2022-11-17T18:36:10","modified_gmt":"2022-11-17T18:36:10","slug":"safety-and-trust","status":"publish","type":"article","link":"https:\/\/peersupport.training\/is\/article\/safety-and-trust\/","title":{"rendered":"4.Jafningja- traust og \u00f6ryggi"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Inngangur<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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F\u00f3lk leitar yfirleitt jafningjastu\u00f0nings \u00feegar \u00fea\u00f0 telur sig vi\u00f0kv\u00e6mt. Hugsanlega hafa \u00feeir lengi reynt a\u00f0 f\u00e1 a\u00f0sto\u00f0 \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 f\u00e1 mikinn stu\u00f0ning. Til \u00feess a\u00f0 jafningi finni fyrir stu\u00f0ningi er mikilv\u00e6gt a\u00f0 hann finni fyrir \u00f6ryggi og er a\u00f0 m\u00f6rgu a\u00f0 hyggja \u00ed \u00feeim efnum. Vi\u00f0 ver\u00f0um a\u00f0 hugsa um umhverfi\u00f0 sem vi\u00f0 erum \u00ed, en st\u00e6rsti hlutinn er hvernig vi\u00f0 sem stu\u00f0ningsveitendur h\u00f6fum samskipti og breg\u00f0umst vi\u00f0.<\/p>\n\n<\/span>\n\n

H\u00e9r eru nokkrir \u00fe\u00e6ttir sem \u00fearf a\u00f0 hafa \u00ed huga: <\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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4.1 R\u00fdmi <\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Eins og vi\u00f0 h\u00f6fum \u00fatsk\u00fdrt \u00ed fyrri k\u00f6flum eru allir jafnaldrar okkar einstakir \u00feegar kemur a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00f6rfum \u00feeirra og \u00f3skum. Sem sagt, \u00fea\u00f0 eru nokkrar till\u00f6gur e\u00f0a hugmyndir sem \u00fe\u00fa g\u00e6tir \u00edhuga\u00f0 \u00feegar \u00fe\u00fa undirb\u00fdr \u00feig fyrir jafningjastu\u00f0ningsfund.<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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Hvernig \u00e1 a\u00f0 b\u00faa til \u00f6ruggt r\u00fdmi:<\/span><\/p>

  1. Veldu herbergi me\u00f0 minnstu truflunum, truflunum, h\u00e1va\u00f0a. \u00cd flestum tilfellum \u00fe\u00fd\u00f0ir \u00fea\u00f0 loka\u00f0 r\u00fdmi \u00e1n yfir\u00feyrmandi innr\u00e9ttinga og \u00fe\u00e6gilegra s\u00e6ta.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>
  2. Ef \u00fea\u00f0 er ekkert sl\u00edkt pl\u00e1ss, tala\u00f0u \u00fe\u00e1 vi\u00f0 jafnaldra \u00feinn - myndi \u00feeim finnast \u00f3h\u00e6tt a\u00f0 tala \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00fe\u00fa ert \u00fati \u00ed g\u00f6ngufer\u00f0 e\u00f0a \u00e1 kaffih\u00fasi?<\/span><\/li>
  3. \u00cdhuga\u00f0u valkosti \u00e1 netinu ef jafnaldri \u00feinn \u00e1 erfitt me\u00f0 a\u00f0 vera l\u00edkamlega til sta\u00f0ar e\u00f0a l\u00ed\u00f0ur betur a\u00f0 opna sig \u00e1 eigin heimili.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>
  4. Gakktu \u00far skugga um a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa hafir b\u00e1\u00f0ir t\u00edma til a\u00f0 tala \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 vera a\u00f0 fl\u00fdta \u00fe\u00e9r, einnig a\u00f0 l\u00edkamlega e\u00f0a netr\u00fdmi\u00f0 s\u00e9 \u00feitt fyrir alla timana.<\/span><\/li>
  5. Reyndu a\u00f0 for\u00f0ast a\u00f0 nota of bj\u00f6rt lj\u00f3s, n\u00e1tt\u00farulegt lj\u00f3s er alltaf best.<\/span><\/li>
  6. Haf\u00f0u nokkrar vefjur vi\u00f0 h\u00f6ndina svo \u00fe\u00fa \u00fearft ekki a\u00f0 fara til a\u00f0 f\u00e1 \u00fe\u00e9r \u00feegar \u00fe\u00f6rf krefur.<\/span><\/li>
  7. Sl\u00f6kktu e\u00f0a sl\u00f6kktu \u00e1 s\u00edmanum \u00fe\u00ednum e\u00f0a \u00f6\u00f0rum t\u00e6kjum.<\/span><\/li>
  8. Ef jafnaldri \u00feinn finnur fyrir eir\u00f0arleysi e\u00f0a \u00e1 erfitt me\u00f0 a\u00f0 tala \u00e1 me\u00f0an hann er kyrr, r\u00e6ddu \u00fe\u00e1 um a\u00f0 gera eitthva\u00f0 saman eins og a\u00f0 teikna, ganga, handavinnu.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>
  9. Ef m\u00f6gulegt er skaltu bj\u00f3\u00f0a upp \u00e1 bolla af te e\u00f0a vatni.<\/span><\/li>
  10. Ef \u00fe\u00fa vilt gera r\u00fdmi\u00f0 s\u00e9rstaklega gott getur\u00f0u sett upp n\u00e1tt\u00faruleg hlj\u00f3\u00f0 e\u00f0a klass\u00edska t\u00f3nlist fyrir bakgrunninn (athuga\u00f0u alltaf me\u00f0 jafnaldranum hvort \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 \u00ed lagi).<\/span><\/li><\/ol>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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    4.2 Trust<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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    Traust er skilgreint sem \u00f6ruggt traust \u00e1 e\u00f0li, h\u00e6fileika, styrk e\u00f0a sannleika einhvers e\u00f0a eitthva\u00f0s; e\u00f0a gjald e\u00f0a skylda sem l\u00f6g\u00f0 er \u00e1 \u00ed tr\u00fa e\u00f0a tr\u00fana\u00f0i e\u00f0a sem skilyr\u00f0i fyrir einhverju sambandi (Merriam-Webster netor\u00f0ab\u00f3k). \u00cd samhengi vi\u00f0 jafningjastu\u00f0ning getum vi\u00f0 tala\u00f0 um traust sem \u00fe\u00e1 tr\u00fa a\u00f0 jafnaldrar okkar vilji bara \u00fea\u00f0 besta af okkur, muni a\u00f0eins starfa \u00ed samr\u00e6mi vi\u00f0 \u00f3skir okkar og \u00fearfir og geymi allar vi\u00f0kv\u00e6mar uppl\u00fdsingar fyrir sig.<\/p>\n\nJafningjastu\u00f0ningur byggir a\u00f0 miklu leyti \u00e1 trausti, \u00fear sem b\u00e1\u00f0ir jafnaldrarnir (stu\u00f0ningsma\u00f0urinn og s\u00e1 sem studdur er) opinbera oft hvor \u00f6\u00f0rum minningar og reynslu sem \u00feeir myndu ekki vilja a\u00f0 almenningur vissi. \u00dea\u00f0 er hins vegar ekki au\u00f0velt a\u00f0 efla traust. S\u00e9rstaklega fyrir marga sem eiga vi\u00f0 ge\u00f0r\u00e6na erfi\u00f0leika a\u00f0 str\u00ed\u00f0a, sem hafa \u00e1\u00f0ur fundi\u00f0 fyrir svikum af s\u00e9rfr\u00e6\u00f0ingum, vinum e\u00f0a fj\u00f6lskyldume\u00f0limum sem \u00feeir hafa treyst og treyst \u00e1. \u00dea\u00f0 er bara e\u00f0lilegt a\u00f0 \u00feetta f\u00f3lk fari varlega \u00ed a\u00f0 deila hlutum af sj\u00e1lfu s\u00e9r sem finnst vi\u00f0kv\u00e6mt og s\u00e6rt.\u00a0<\/span>\n\n\u00dea\u00f0 getur teki\u00f0 nokkurn t\u00edma a\u00f0 \u00f6\u00f0last traust einhvers og \u00feess vegna er best a\u00f0 gefa s\u00e9r t\u00edma og byrja \u00e1 au\u00f0veldari efni. Reyndu a\u00f0 kynnast jafn\u00f6ldrum \u00fe\u00ednum me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 spyrja um b\u00fasetu, vinnu, \u00e1hugam\u00e1l o.s.frv. \u00dea\u00f0 er g\u00f3\u00f0 hugmynd a\u00f0 byrja hverja lotu me\u00f0 spjalli til a\u00f0 \u201ehita upp\u201c og enda \u00fea\u00f0 \u00e1 svipa\u00f0an h\u00e1tt og \u201ek\u00e6la sig ni\u00f0ur;\u201c \u00feetta au\u00f0veldar einstaklingnum a\u00f0 a\u00f0lagast a\u00f0st\u00e6\u00f0um og halda s\u00ed\u00f0an \u00e1fram me\u00f0 daginn \u00e1n \u00feess a\u00f0 velta fyrir s\u00e9r s\u00e1rsaukafullum minningum sem \u00feeir deildu.\u00a0<\/span>\n\nTraust hefur l\u00edka me\u00f0 v\u00e6ntingar a\u00f0 gera. \u00deegar jafnaldri hefur \u00f3raunh\u00e6far v\u00e6ntingar eins og a\u00f0 vona a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa ver\u00f0ir bestu vinir e\u00f0a a\u00f0 \u00feeir ver\u00f0i l\u00e6kna\u00f0ir, \u00fe\u00e1 getur \u00fea\u00f0 leitt til vonbrig\u00f0a og vantrausts. Af \u00feeim s\u00f6kum \u00e6tti fyrst og fremst a\u00f0 taka \u00e1 v\u00e6ntingum, m\u00f6rkum (lesi\u00f0 meira um m\u00f6rk \u00ed kafla 2.1) og \u00f3tta \u00e1 fyrsta fundi, ef h\u00e6gt er. <\/span>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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    H\u00e9r eru nokkrar fleiri lei\u00f0ir til a\u00f0 efla traust:<\/span><\/p>

    • Tr\u00fana\u00f0ur: ekki deila neinum pers\u00f3nulegum uppl\u00fdsingum sem \u00fe\u00e9r er treyst fyrir*. Gakktu \u00far skugga um a\u00f0 r\u00fdmi\u00f0 sem \u00fe\u00fa heldur fundina \u00ed s\u00e9 n\u00e6gilega pers\u00f3nulegt og \u00fe\u00e6gilegt.<\/li>
    • Tenging: sameiginleg reynsla sem \u00fe\u00fa hefur skapa sjaldg\u00e6fa tengingu og dj\u00fapan skilning \u00e1 hinum a\u00f0ilanum. \u00deetta \u00e6tti \u00fe\u00f3 ekki a\u00f0 vera sj\u00e1lfgefi\u00f0 og mikilv\u00e6gt er a\u00f0 muna a\u00f0 \u00fer\u00e1tt fyrir l\u00edkindin er reynsla okkar einst\u00f6k og \u00feessi tengsl \u00fearf a\u00f0 styrkja me\u00f0 sam\u00fa\u00f0arfullri hlustun og sam\u00feykki \u00e1 \u00f3l\u00edkum \u00feeirra.<\/li>
    • Sam\u00feykki: l\u00e1ttu jafningja vita a\u00f0 \u00fea\u00f0 s\u00e9 pl\u00e1ss fyrir hva\u00f0a tilfinningar e\u00f0a sko\u00f0anir sem er. Reyndu a\u00f0 halda \u00fe\u00ednum eigin sko\u00f0unum og meginreglum fyrir sj\u00e1lfan \u00feig (s\u00e9rstaklega ef \u00fe\u00e6r stangast \u00e1 vi\u00f0 jafnaldra \u00fe\u00edna) og for\u00f0astu a\u00f0 lenda \u00ed p\u00f3lit\u00edskum, tr\u00faarlegum, o.s.frv.<\/li>
    • Stu\u00f0ning: Sty\u00f0ji\u00f0 vi\u00f0komandi til a\u00f0 uppg\u00f6tva a\u00f0 hann hefur vald yfir umr\u00e6\u00f0unni.\nSpur\u00f0u vi\u00f0komandi spurninga af og til \u00e1 me\u00f0an \u00e1 fundinum stendur. Gakktu \u00far skugga um a\u00f0 \u00feeir hafi m\u00f6guleika \u00e1 a\u00f0 velja hra\u00f0a og d\u00fdpt vi\u00f0fangsefnisins. Til d\u00e6mis getur \u00fe\u00fa spurt \u00feessara spurninga: Hvert viltu fara h\u00e9\u00f0an? Hva\u00f0 viltu leggja \u00e1herslu \u00e1 \u00ed dag? Hva\u00f0 er \u00fe\u00e9r efst \u00ed huga \u00ed dag?<\/li>
    • Ekki ford\u00f3mafullt vi\u00f0horf: ekki fella d\u00f3ma e\u00f0a gagnr\u00fdna jafnaldra \u00feinn fyrir gj\u00f6r\u00f0ir \u00feeirra, reyndu \u00feess \u00ed sta\u00f0 a\u00f0 lei\u00f0beina \u00feeim \u00ed a\u00f0 endurspegla sj\u00e1lfan sig og komast a\u00f0 eigin ni\u00f0urst\u00f6\u00f0um.<\/li>
    • L\u00edkamstj\u00e1ning: haf\u00f0u opi\u00f0 og a\u00f0la\u00f0andi l\u00edkamstj\u00e1ningu sem s\u00fdnir a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa ert til sta\u00f0ar og hefur \u00e1huga \u00e1 \u00fev\u00ed sem jafningi \u00feinn hefur a\u00f0 segja. \u00dea\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fd\u00f0ir a\u00f0 leggja \u00f6ll raft\u00e6ki til hli\u00f0ar, for\u00f0ast st\u00f6\u00f0ugt a\u00f0 athuga t\u00edmann og breg\u00f0ast r\u00e9tt vi\u00f0 \u00ed samtalinu me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 brosa, kinka kolli, hafa augnsamband og spegla l\u00edkamstj\u00e1ningu jafnaldra \u00feinna.<\/li>
    • Jafnr\u00e9tti: \u00fe\u00f3 a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa s\u00e9rt l\u00edklega nokkrum skrefum \u00e1 undan \u00ed bata \u00fe\u00ednum, vertu viss um a\u00f0 muna a\u00f0 \u00fei\u00f0 eru\u00f0 b\u00e1\u00f0ir bara f\u00f3lk me\u00f0 erfi\u00f0a reynslu sem reynir a\u00f0 sty\u00f0ja hvort anna\u00f0. L\u00e1ttu jafnaldra \u00feinn vita me\u00f0 \u00f3vissu um a\u00f0 \u00fe\u00fa s\u00e9rt ekki s\u00e9rfr\u00e6\u00f0ingur e\u00f0a til sta\u00f0ar til a\u00f0 l\u00e6kna \u00fe\u00e1, n\u00e9 muntu gefa \u00feeim greiningu e\u00f0a fella nokkurs konar d\u00f3ma.<\/li>
    • Varnarleysi: \u00fear sem jafningi \u00feinn treystir \u00fe\u00e9r fyrir \u00e1hyggjum s\u00ednum og \u00f3tta skaltu deila einhverju af \u00fe\u00ednum eigin \u00feegar \u00fe\u00e9r finnst \u00fea\u00f0 vi\u00f0eigandi. A\u00f0 tala a\u00f0eins um eigin reynslu g\u00e6ti hj\u00e1lpa\u00f0 \u00feeim a\u00f0 l\u00ed\u00f0a minna einmana \u00ed \u00fev\u00ed sem \u00feeir eru a\u00f0 ganga \u00ed gegnum og hvetja \u00fe\u00e1 til a\u00f0 halda \u00e1fram.<\/li><\/ul>

      *<\/strong> * Tv\u00e6r undantekningar fr\u00e1 reglunni um \u00feagnarskyldu: 1) a\u00f0 deila me\u00f0 yfirmanni, sem getur hj\u00e1lpa\u00f0 \u00fe\u00e9r a\u00f0 finna \u00fat hvernig \u00fe\u00fa getur hj\u00e1lpa\u00f0 jafn\u00f6ldrum \u00fe\u00ednum betur og hver er bundinn af tr\u00fana\u00f0arreglum \u00feeirra; 2) ef \u00fe\u00fa ver\u00f0ur v\u00f6r vi\u00f0 a\u00f0 jafnaldra \u00feinn s\u00e9 \u00ed mikilli sj\u00e1lfsv\u00edgsh\u00e6ttu (er me\u00f0 \u00e1kve\u00f0na \u00e1\u00e6tlun, hvatningu og \u00farr\u00e6\u00f0i), er mikilv\u00e6gt a\u00f0 breg\u00f0ast vi\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed sem fyrst me\u00f0 \u00fev\u00ed a\u00f0 hringja \u00ed ney\u00f0ar\u00fej\u00f3nustu, fara \u00e1 br\u00e1\u00f0am\u00f3tt\u00f6ku e\u00f0a deila uppl\u00fdsingum me\u00f0 n\u00e1nustu einstaklingur sem jafningi \u00feinn treystir.<\/em><\/span><\/p>

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      \u00d6ryggi og traust getur veri\u00f0 erfitt a\u00f0 skapa fyrir jafningja \u00feinn, \u00fear sem \u00feeir g\u00e6tu veri\u00f0 meira h\u00e1\u00f0ir fyrri reynslu sinni en \u00fev\u00ed sem \u00fe\u00fa gerir fyrir \u00fe\u00e1 h\u00e9r \u00ed n\u00fat\u00ed\u00f0inni. Ef okkur tekst a\u00f0 l\u00e1ta einhvern l\u00ed\u00f0a \u00f6ruggan mun jafningjastu\u00f0ningssambandi\u00f0 virka pr\u00fd\u00f0ilega.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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      \n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t<\/i>\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t
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      \n\t\t\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tSpurningar\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/span>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/h3>\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t

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      • Hvar finnst \u00fe\u00e9r \u00f6ruggast?\n\n
      • Hverjir eru \u00feeir sem \u00fe\u00fa treystir best? Hvers vegna?\n
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